Had a quite weekend as usual

Perhaps it's because I have such quite weekends that I just can't shake this ever looming "dark" feelings, suppose it's called depression, can't shake the 'insomnia' neither...
So many sudden changes in my life, so much to cope with..and getting lost in all of it, it feels like..
Ever since January of last year my life has changed dramatically..and to top it all I've recently turned 45 years old..My God! Where DID the time go? I know this will sound cliche but what else can I say? It was just the other day that I was a bright, full of dreams and hopes 21 year old? I look in the mirror and I try to find her - that 21 year old - but she's just nowhere in this face looking back at me - she's crying in the depths of my soul but hiding even from my worn out tired eyes... I try to remember what all those dreams were..but alas, they have just changed too many times over the years and got lost along the way..the hopes all faded with the realities of life as well.... I look at this "new" face and try to recognize "me", but let me say this..it isn't easy ...