Had a quite weekend as usual

Perhaps it's because I have such quite weekends that I just can't shake this ever looming "dark" feelings, suppose it's called depression, can't shake the 'insomnia' neither...
So many sudden changes in my life, so much to cope with..and getting lost in all of it, it feels like..
Ever since January of last year my life has changed dramatically..and to top it all I've recently turned 45 years old..My God! Where DID the time go? I know this will sound cliche but what else can I say? It was just the other day that I was a bright, full of dreams and hopes 21 year old? I look in the mirror and I try to find her - that 21 year old - but she's just nowhere in this face looking back at me - she's crying in the depths of my soul but hiding even from my worn out tired eyes... I try to remember what all those dreams were..but alas, they have just changed too many times over the years and got lost along the way..the hopes all faded with the realities of life as well.... I look at this "new" face and try to recognize "me", but let me say this..it isn't easy ...

My thoughts today...

Well...decided enough is enough and I'm going to join Sang in her endeavour to lose weight slowly but permanently..I currently stand on 98.7kg, not sure what that would be in lb's and my length is 5.11ft - quite taller than Sang but weighing just as much, if not more..I will plan this carefully and buy the right stuff to have breakfast,lunch and dinner with..Thingking it might be better to permanently change my diet and eat healthier from now on...no more fried stuff,pasta and sweet things by the tons..lol

oops...

new to blogging ..can you see? Posted a comment instead of..whatever..lol

This is just Me,Myself and I

What to blog about? Everyone is doing it, so I just have to follow...nah..just seems like a fun thing to do. Let me start off by telling you who I am. Annemarie Bayrakdar, aged 45, originally from South Africa but moved to Turkiye in April 1999. Went to China in 2003 and stayed till december 2005 when I upped and went to Malaysia for 7 months. Came back to Turkiye in August 2006 and am currently still here trying to come to grips with the blows life gives me.